Hopelessly Waiting

When I was a teen, sometimes when I would have a crush on a boy who didn’t know of my existence in that way….I would allow myself to stay as a desperate puppy in the friend zone. Literally doing backflips and tricks in hopes that he would give me a scrap of “love”. I thought that if I stayed or became the best friend that it would all become a romantic comedy where he would find out that I was his soulmate all along … Let me tell you that is BS!!! First of all no one ever owes you a relationship just because you’re alongside them for a long time. Now to the main point…..You should never ever put yourself on a eternal waiting game for one person! Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it isn’t possible for a friend/crush to fall for you. I’m saying that you shouldn’t put your personal progress on hold. Why pause your life for someone that might not ever give you the time of day? I think about all the events I said no to because I would desperately wait by my phone hoping that he would invite me to them…. all to end up at home by myself. To all the people I could’ve met!!! Hell…even boys that probably liked me who I didn’t even look at for a second because I couldn’t pry away my eyes from this one person. Plus forcing myself as his best friend to hear about his crushes while being in a secret infatuation with him was torture! I chose to torture myself and then sometimes I would try to mold myself into the girls he constantly infatuated over. In the end I was trying to be someone that I wasn’t. I’m not trying to sound obsessive or crazy. I just know that I’m not alone in this! A lot of people hold onto secret crushes for the longest time and it makes people do some crazy shit…..So now days If I get a crush on someone who doesn’t feel that way back… I remind myself to move forward. I can still talk to this person and if I really like them as a person then yes we can be friends. BUT I CANT HAVE A SECRET MISSION OF “LOVE” IN MIND. I don’t allow myself to pine and wait desperately hoping that he changes his views on me. I date other people…I do my own thing. I make sure that I don’t hang myself up on a person. I’ve learned from my past. I have seen what I missed out and how I held back the growth of my independence. If someone is meant to be yours they will be yours but that is no reason to put your life on hold. Do you have growing to do? Do you have goals you need to accomplish? Then don’t be like me where I wasted LITERAL YEARS holding on to the fantasy of some RomCom in my head. I’m not saying to give up on a crush. I’m saying to enjoy your time. Still do you. You have to do your own path to grow into who you will be. If he/she really is meant to be yours…they’re not going to go anywhere. If thats yours to have, it will end up coming to you. Don’t put your life on pause for the “maybe one day he/she’ll realize” person. Don’t put your blossoming journey on pause.

Living Her Life On Play,

Blossoming Beauty

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