Catching My Breath…

What do you do when someone makes you feel like you can’t breathe? I’m not talking about that romantic took away your breath moment…. I’m talking about that I wish I didn’t have to see you… remember you… because I can’t take this feeling type of moment. The I don’t know if I can fake keeping it together moment…..I’m talking about when someone hurts you so bad that you don’t know when you’ll ever stop feeling this way…. I don’t like to ever admit that someone could twist my insides like this. I don’t want that person to know how much they meant to me…that they still affect me this way because I obviously didn’t mean that to them. I can feel my chest rise and fall with each breath but it doesn’t feel like it’s reaching any part of my body. The gulps of air aren’t big enough… I don’t feel myself calming down…I feel like my body is slowly starting to drift to anxiety. I tell myself not to be stupid not to feel this way but I can’t help it. So what do I do? What do I do with this feeling slowly taking over…. how do I catch my breath? I remind myself that this isn’t the first person to hurt me and it won’t be the last in this world. That I’m human and it doesn’t make me any less if I feel this way. But I can’t let it paralyze me! That it hurts and I feel it’s not going to end but one day it will. Just like I’ve moved on from the other pains in my life this one will too. It may feel like forever but this is only a small chunk of my entire life. One day I’ll look back and see that even though I felt like I couldn’t breathe….now I am… and that air isn’t toxic. I’m free. They will have faded and I will be stronger… we don’t get more than what we can take… we are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. So even though I would trade anything to not feel this I know I have to. It’s a lesson in its own. It’s what has to happen so I can be the version of myself I’m meant to be in the future. Pain is inevitable but what we take away from it , when it’s over, is what defines how our journey will continue.. Remember that Life will continue even when it feels like it’s the end. It’s not the end… its just a little bump. Don’t give up I tell myself… this is just a moment… they may still effect you right now but one day they won’t! One day they’ll realize their mistakes but then it’ll be too late. You will emerge like a Phoenix… reborn and stronger. Full of fire and passionate to continue forward. So I know it hurts…this feeling of not being able to breathe but we’ll get through it…. patience my Blossoms… patience Daisy. It will pass. Just keep trying to breath and move forward. Remember your strength. Breathe. Breathe.

Love,

B.B.

“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” – C Jones

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